How To Enforce Your Boundaries With A Client
Boundaries… we talk about them all the time but what happens when someone quite literally refuses to respect your boundaries?
This recently happened to me. I set the boundary with them. Reiterated it probably 5 times (at least!) and they still didn’t listen.
This caused me so much stress.
Loss of sleep.
My TMJ flared back up (more on this another time!).
To say I was on edge was an understatement.
It wasn't even the boundary that was being crossed that kept me up at night... it was the insane disrespect I just couldn't drop.
I've worked really hard over the last few years to set and keep boundaries so to have one repeatedly crossed (especially during this already stressful year!) was too much for me to handle.
So how did I finally enforce that boundary with my client?
Well it would have been really easy for me to just give in to keep the peace... which normally would have been my go-to move. But I've done enough self-reflection to know this is my pattern so I knew that wouldn't actually give me any peace.
So I paused. I paused after every time she crossed that line. Took a deep breath and reiterated the boundary. Again and again.
Then I had a really frank conversation with her on WHY I set that boundary and it seemed to finally click. She agreed to do what I had been asking and I could just feel the weight lifted off of me.
It can be so easy to focus on standing our ground and enforcing the boundary that sometimes we forget there's a person on the other side of that boundary that just doesn't understand why we need it. And when we can drop the ego and get on that human level, sometimes it just clicks.
But if they still don't respect the boundary after this human-to-human conversation, you need to ask yourself what you're willing to do. Are you willing to cut this client from your roster? Because that might be the next step (it was about to be for me in this case TBH).
So next time you need to set a boundary with a client, ask yourself:
Why do I need this boundary?
Have I expressed why this boundary is important to me to the person I'm setting it with?
What consequences am I willing to enforce if this boundary is repeatedly crossed?
Having a plan and understanding of why this is important to you helps empower you to stand up for yourself more easily... meaning it becomes easier to enforce rather than fall back into an old pattern of giving in.
Moving forward with setting boundaries
To avoid this frustration in the future, it’s important to set these boundaries upfront in contracts and welcome packets, etc. This will set expectations upfront so the project can run much more smoothly, but it will also help weed out clients that are not a good fit. For example, if you set the boundary that all communications need to happen via email but a client wants to have instant access to you via text message then they may baulk at working with you. This simply means you two were not a good fit for each other.
Here are a couple of boundaries that you should communicate and enforce with clients:
Set expectations about project scope
Be crystal clear about what is included in a project and how much time you’ll spend on a client’s project/the timeline for that project. Scope creep is real and is one of the biggest boundaries that gets crossed for service providers.
Set these expectations right upfront in the proposal so the client knows exactly what’s included and how long it will take. That way if they want additions to the project you can clearly state that was not included in the original scope but to add it in it would cost $X and add X amount of time to the project.
I also outline what’s included and timeline in the clients contract as well so it’s reiterated in numerous places before they agree to work with me.
This protects your time, business, and ultimately your sanity!
Be clear about fees
It's important to be upfront about fees when you're starting out. This will help you avoid any misunderstandings later on. And I’m not just talking about the cost of your services. You’ll also want to outline any late fees (what they are and when they are enforced) and/or cancellation fees.
Again, this protects you in the event that something doesn’t work out so you can refer back to your contract.
Have an agreement about communication
You should also agree on how often you'll communicate with one another and how you communicate with each other.
Do you prefer email over text? Or maybe you like Slack or Voxer best!
Email overwhelming? Maybe you only want to check that twice a day so you need to let your clients know that’s how you work.
How do you prefer to receive feedback from clients? Email or on a call?
These are just a few places to start but communication and client management is one of the biggest time sucks for service providers so setting clear boundaries and regularly evaluating those boundaries will help you work more effectively and efficiently.
Effectively setting and enforcing boundaries really comes down to open and honest communication with your clients. This will help not only save your sanity and allow you to work more efficiently but it also helps improve your client relations because there are very clear expectations set right from the start.
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